October 2006

There has been a great deal of celebrating recently, primarily marking the passage of time. Birthdays. My company turned 10, my mom turned 80, and I turned 50.

My mom’s gathering was meant to be a surprise (but what child can ever fool their mother for long), however, who attended and what took place, delighted her. I enjoyed being with the people she has touched with her friendship over the years. We shared stories, friends sang songs to her, and one young lad enthusiastically mimicked a worm on stage (he earned himself an encore). The biggest surprise for her was that collectively we pooled our $20’s and $50’s and put enough in the kitty to send her off to Venice. I could never have afforded to do that myself, but together, we all had a hand in bringing her considerable joy. In fact she is there as I write. Her energy has been very high since she found out. She tackled her new computer and took Italian basics online, she expanded her trip to include more Italian destinations and booked plans and hotels for Ireland and England too.

I know she is somewhat apprehensive about traveling in our new world, stained by the fear of terrorism. However, she is not entering her eighties feeling frail and fearful, but is instead choosing to increase her self-reliance and her worldly communication skills. I know she was buoyed up with confidence by the gathering of the people she knew and loved, and she is carrying that inspiration with her to the canals of Venice.

As for me turning fifty, I should first confess to having a bit of a Peter Pan complex, as have many of my generation, so fifty was sounding old as the date approached. My eyesight is not what it used to be, and I lost my memory somewhere ages ago. I considered getting glasses as a birthday gift to myself, a peace offering, a signal that I am willing to be sensible and grown up now. But instead, I arranged to go white water rafting on the Ottawa River.

I came across a company in Quebec which folks endorsed as doing the “best” rapids. I ordered tickets for myself and a few nearest and dearest who could make it up for a Friday morning rendezvous. Our guides were young, gorgeous creatures who spoke enthusiastically about all the safety gear, the security measures, the deadly whirl- pools and waterfalls to watch for, all the ways to avoid being trapped in rocks below, and how to float downstream under the raft. They followed this 45 minute talk with a four page disclaimer.

I looked over at my friend Heidi, and we were both ready to go home.

Well, this company practices something called ‘Challenge by Choice’. If you don’t want to do the run, they will let you off and you can find your way back to the raft, further downriver, by a shore path. Well, I ditched at the level 5 rapids (the highest rating in the world), as it seemed too early in the day to die.

At the start I was given the position of honour, the very front, because I could paddle hard and because it would be non-stop soakers. At one point, listening to a little voice in my head, I got out, and low and behold Russ, who took my front seat, ended up being tossed down the river. He was ‘the fall-guy’ for the rest of the day. Despite my touching dry land once or twice, it was exhilarating, brilliant, challenging and we all want to go with these same guides to Mexico for a week of white-water rafting.

White-water rafting is faster than canoeing on the calm river outside the window here, but it is all about water. As the day continued I could hear the water laughing and playing, feeling the power and exhilaration of the water itself.

I had faced a fear and felt stronger for doing so.

After the Friday rafting more friends turned up and a birthday weekend followed; highly charged, big fun and surrounded by loving friends who witnessed that ‘my’ fifty is all about new beginnings, facing new challenges, and finding new strengths.

Birthdays are about measuring time, and I’d like to share a few lines by Rumi that remind us not to focus on limitations, like our age, and to merge instead with the love that is all around us, especially the unconditional kind:

Come out of the circle of time And into the circle of love

Rumi