October 2004

How did the world become so exquisitely beautiful and I so happily surrounded? Unable to concentrate on lists and responsibilities, I wake, staring at how the pink clouds appear to be dripping down from the dusky-blue sky as water birds glowing like the phoenix drop to the coral-coloured water, gliding into the reeds to rest for the night.

The ancient white pine, now pink, the river and sky, all reflect the beauty of each other. I float opened-mouthed amidst the spacious miracle, lacking contour or definition from what surrounds me.

These are early days yet, but there is no question that at long last, I am finally experiencing waves of “belonging.”

The story of the last nine months has been focused on getting clear about what I need, trusting the vision, and then creating it, with the ever present assistance of the indivisible world.

So this recent journey towards belonging began last winter when it became very clear to me that I needed to leave Toronto and return to the trees of the Algonquin area, and the hearts of friends in the upper Ottawa valley. That was an important step. During this period two close women friends bought and or built themselves homes. In supporting their courageous steps it became clear it was time for me as well but I put the idea on the back burner, not having an inheritance to get me started on visualizing.

Around Imbulc this year, the time of dreaming the seeds for the new year, I was staying in retreat on the grounds of the Chalice Well in Glastonbury, where the Lady of the Lake resides within the waters. In Arthurian tales it is the Lady of the Lake who provided the impetus for change by giving the sword to Merlin, who then magically thrust it into a stone for a clear hearted soul to retrieve and carve a better world. So I communed with the energy of the water there about creating my own Camelot. The water had a very strong presence and it moved through me like my own blood. The words I spoke and the words that came as answers were clear and direct. Visualize what you want to create in your Camelot: what is it like? Proceed as though money is not an object. Trust. I have worn a vial of well water around my neck ever since waiting for the vision to come together.

It seemed the universe was conspiring to support me and my request had immediately been put into motion and I was to calmly hold the vision and stay alert. It was wonderful to find out that the Canadian Mortgage and Housing folks in Ottawa decided to encourage new home owners, allowing them to put no money down. Then the Bank of Nova Scotia and the Bank of Montreal worked with CMHC for the self-employed by not asking for income statements, but rather proof that you have been self-employed for three years. Thank you. Friends and family offered tremendous support.

I spent my time looking for farms so that I could tone in the grain turrets, dry herbs for tea in the barns, and have a building sizable enough for my mom to come and garden whenever the spirit moved her. I was crushed, shocked, and felt betrayed when I was outbid at the eleventh hour on a private sale. How could there possibly be a better place? The dreams came for myself and friends who all saw me on the water in a light-coloured house.

One of the people who saw the house in her mind was the instructor at the clairvoyance workshop I attended by the Bonnechere River. A few weeks later I saw the house and knew this was it. Again friends came to the house and held the energy for me as I found a mortgage consultant, bid and sealed the deal pending inspections over the next eight weeks.

I knew I needed a cool roommate. A week later at the follow up to the earlier workshop, the class all “saw” the instructor moving in, and by the next day she had given notice and is this week moved into the limestone house on the beautiful Bonnechere River.

Throughout the whole process, under the seeming stressful chaos, there has been a calmness that always said, “hold the dream, know it is unfolding, trust, and the thing is done.”

This Thanksgiving there will be time to release the well water around my neck into the Bonnechere River that flows up to the grassy shore, which grows up to my feet on the veranda, which I have bought.